Confession

Well folks, I have something I need to tell you about while I'm all nice and lucid, only quite tired.  Two things actually.

First off, I've already written my last post, in a little binder, with instructions on it how to log into my account.  I have asked that this be posted on Solstice Day, in case I lose my wits before then.  What this also says is, unfortunately, you will not know if I am really still around before my fight.  You will have to trust me, as you have in the past.  I felt I needed to mention this to you guys, since you've stuck with me for so long.  Thank you for all your well wishing and comments, I really really have appreciated everything.  Even the trolls.

Sort of funny that a guy who started out posting about being lost in life has turned around in just a few months...


Okay, now for something I really didn't want to talk about, but I felt you guys needed to know.

Nessa.



I should tell you what happened with her.  You see, she showed up at my door that day, looking like hell itself warmed over.  Another cute girl in distress.  Another mistake.  I guardedly told her to show her hands, and to lay down on the floor face down, if she really wished to talk.  My stun gun was at the ready, hidden from her sight.  She complied, making no motions to attack me or incapacitate me.  Granted, it was a stupid trusting move on my part, but I've failed her before, and that got to me.

We talked for a bit.  I could see how...hopeless she had become.  Distraught, gloom.  If she were wearing black, I'd have called her an emo.

Stupid defense mechanism.

She asked me for help.  I had none to give her.  She screamed at me, and stood, begging me for a cure to a poison I had no hope of holding.  When I held out my hands to show that I had no cure, she called me a coward.  And then

she asked for death.

I'm not a killer, despite what I may have done in desperation, or insanity, I always felt that I was meant to be a healer.  One with issues, but still, my overall goal is to help people.  I refused to hurt her.  She produced a firearm, and yelled at me again.  Now, I'm no psychologist, but I knew that one of us was going to be shot within moments, if I didn't do something stupid.  So I agreed.

I took the firearm, whispered an apology to her, tears coming down my cheeks.  She sunk down onto her knees, as I leveled the weapon at her, my hand shaking.  She didn't even have a chance to see me taze her.

I couldn't take her life.  Not after she came to me for help.  So I made a call.  You see, there's someone I've been talking to who has a certain interest in agents, or hallowed.  He came to town to talk to me, to convince me to change my goals.  He has a way out.

So I called him, and he showed.  Nessa started to stir, so I took her out of the equation again.  The battery on the stun gun was mostly depleted, by this point as the thin man with the ruddy red hoodie appeared at my door.  He was unkempt, his teeth browned and somewhat rotted, his clothes ratty, his hood pulled low over his eyes, and had a snide look on his face as I let him enter.  I knew he wasn't the sort to jump me.  He has different goals.

Me>>>  Well....I never thought I'd meet you.
Stranger>>>  Who says you haven't before?  So you've changed your mind?
Me>>> No, no I'm going through with it.
Stranger>>> It's all madness.  You're just as much a fool as I was once.
Me>>>  Perhaps.  But I think I know a few things.
Stranger>>>  They're all lies.  Every last one.  But did you call me here to play at intrigue, or did you have a purpose?
Me>>>  I've had a purpose for three months now.  I daresay you lost yours about that time.
Stranger>>>  Ohhh...
He stepped through my abode, looking around.
Stranger>>>  Don't try to guess at me.
Me>>>  It keeps me busy.
Me>>> Anyway....I have someone for you.  For you to take.
Stranger>>>  You think I'm a delivery expert?
Me>>>  I think you'll want to see her....It's Nessa...you have an interest in her, don't you?
His eyes light up, a hideous twinkle.
Stranger>>> Well, this is unexpected.  Yes, I can take her.
Me>>>   I can't believe I'm doing this, handing her off to you.  I mean...there's nothing to prove that you won't just kill her or abuse her.
The Stranger lifted his hand, dirt on his palm.
Stranger>>> I'm not interested in hurting her, or even you.  So you can stop handling that weapon so aggressively.  I simply want this to end.
Me>>>  Strange occurances make strange bedfellows.  I guess I have to trust you on that.  You'll give her a good life?
Stranger>>>  The life she leads is up to her,
Me>>>  Well...as good a chance as anyone, then.

I showed him to where I had her restrained, unconscious.  As an agnostic, I whispered a bitter prayer for her hope and life, as the man picked her up.

Me>>> Can you really do it?
He paused.
Me>>> Can you really make people forget?
The Stranger chuckled softly.
Stranger>>>  I've done this a few times.
He tapped the side of his head.
Stranger>>>  It's a better life for them, to have them forget.
Me>>>  I see....goodbye then.  I hope not to see you again.
Stranger>>>  Ohh...don't hurt my feelings now.  I'm sure I'll see you again soon.


And that's the story.

I gave Nessa to Redlight. and I had no choice.