Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Dilemma of a Damned

edit: Behold the climax of arrogance, self delusion, and obsession.  It's a bit before this that I decide I can try to fucking...feh, I can't even say it, it's ash in my mouth.  I decide spontaneously, that I can do *something* for a person potentially thousand of miles away.  Oh how important  I thought I was.

The Sage of Nothing has a dilemma... to try to find Nessa in person, and rescue her, face the monster, and his growing army...or to put her aside for the greater good.

greater good...feh

all good is great
I hear you screaming, save her, my heart screams it as well.  how can I not?  I have to save her, but I don't know the way.  I don't even know where she is.

Greenlight's hurt bad...I have a serious question for him.  And until I get that answer, I don't know what my purpose is now.

he says

Rescue Possible
Will Help
Can Restore
If Found.

does it mean him, or Nessa?    Does it matter?  Well, yes, just a little,

I

she just said 'stay away, please...'  she's still 'there' but corrupted.
of all the soul wrenching things.  he baits me, he lets her live, and taunts me, he wants me to show up, so he can kill me...or maybe all of us.  anyone, just to drive the point home


so

I said my goodbyes to Nessa, for the day, but not forever.

and I have never felt like such scum before.

pale despair before me



Delusions and Humility

Set a god damn trap for me.

sent rika with a pipe because he just wanted to show i was vulnerable, she could've stabbed me, but no, he wanted me alive a bit longer, to show me my failure

Sat there and taunted me silently as I saw my friends pulled away

nessa


god nessa, i'm so sorry

glad to see you others are alright

I was cocky, I got to think that there was no way the plan can fail, and then he comes and reminds me what he can do when he wants to.

i love my family, but he knew to strike here, against you, to shatter me.

yeah it worked, but i still function

haven't seen him today yet, i'm moving, i know a good location, can't give details

should've done this days ago.

nessa

damn

i must be delusional, really.  in the midst of despair, i decided that i could save someone miles away.  i don't even know where she lives let alone how to get there.  so i think, alright theres only one form of transit that can get to her, maybe if i can project, i can zip over there, see her and try to free her

stupid idea, 'oh i'm a sage, i can learn to do anything in a fucking week because i'm special' 
yeah
fuck that,  never had any luck, just fiddling while rome burns, and watch all my work, all my friends collapse
but what can i do from here?  how can I help anyone?  so i give it a shot again

so i sit down, try to relax, and it takes a moment, my heart keeps racing, and every sound i hear could be him walking in my house.  i manage to clear myself

i blacked out

i don't know what happened, maybe it worked....yeah right.  but i woke up, my sword still in my lap, my legs crossed, with my back to my door

and my doorknob was turning back and forth, i got a good lock on my bedroom door, thank the complex

it rattled and jostled as I got sword  in hand, and just waited for them to crash through my window
and make a last stand

wasn't afraid

full of rage, for nessa, for everyone

it never happened.

after the sounds died down, i investigated my home

mostly alright, some stuff knocked over, and i caught an odd glint of color on my sword, when it hits the light

something's on my blade

i don't know what
where did it come from?

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

all alone

i'm all alone now

they're.


they're gone, aren't they?



i'm trembling, my heart races...i


i lost

theyre dead

all of them
amelia

so sorry
nessa
taken

will
barely got to know you

anyone

are you there



cold
tired

frustrated
angry
pissed
rage

alone

always
fucking
alone

always havebeen

i


i can;t
be alone


rage


tears



Conversations with ole Blankity-Blank

edit: Another prime example of arrogance, look how my guard is down all throughout this blog,  The fucking monster is outside as I type, and I'm talking about an asian girl's ass.   However, in my defense,  it WAS a nice ass.  I can say that now because there's no monsters at my window.   This is the key point where shit goes sour.  If this was a rollercoaster, this is the point where the coaster goes off the fucking track, and takes a god damn nose dive into the cotton candy booth, and someone pops their head up with a beard and wig made of pink cotton.  Except with insanity.

I took some time first to calm down before posting.  Even perused the blog comments, reading new material, new problems, it helped me keep focused a bit, as opposed to oh....screaming at the computer, typing venomous F-Bomb laden language as I frothed at the mouth in fury.

So firstly, if this cuts off early, it's because Fatboy Slim is doing his best impression of a reprobate outside.  Of course I can't figure out why he ends up clicking 'Publish Post', but that's his deal,. not mine.

I've been taking catnaps lately, trying to keep from being vulnerable for too long, as well as do a bit of cardio.  I've never been overly athletic....except with the ladies

>:)
> :)
>:)


okay that was cheesy as hell, but it's a cheap laugh right?

Slendy thinks it's funny, I can see him laughing.

Wait, no, It's more of unbridled hatred.  Ehh close enough.

So anyway I woke up from my afternoon nap staring at an all too familiar hideousness before me.

My own face.

I was staring into the bathroom mirror, with a steak knife in my hand, and a cut on my wrist.

Son of a bitch tried to off me in my sleep?  Can he do that?  Fucking cheap shot, Jace No-Face.

I forgot to tie that rope around my foot, to aid against sleepwalking, and look where it got me.  So all sharp knives have been pitched.  It was an eclectic group, and I mourn for the steaks I shall have to pass by without them, but better them than me.

The cut's not bad really, it's off to the inside, too far to hit a vein, doesn't really impede my typing either, so it's a lucky break.  I used some super glue and wrapped a makeshift bandage around it, after disinfectant, which hurt worse than the cut, I swear.  What the hell is in that stuff, the tears of a thousand damned?

Right, less Dennis Miller ranting, more daily horror.

Knock on the door about an hour ago.  I check the peephole.  Noone I know, but is cute, so I guardedly open the door, the chain still on.

Me>>>May I help you?
Cutie>>>My car battery is dead, my neighbor said you had some jumper cables?

She sort of swayed in the spot...cute, as I said before.

Me>>> Oh sure! I can help with that.

I've had several issues with dead batteries in my older car, I've had to have several neighbors help me out, so good karma for being able to assist.

I got my jacket on and went outside.

Yeah, distracted, I know, I know, but cute girl.

Let me describe her a bit.

Firstly, she was sort of exotic looking, like maybe part Asian, part Spanish, big bright brown eyes, high cheekbones, a bit short.  She wore a jean jacket with a backpack, and a matching hat that had some little buttons on it.  Some bright green shirt with something on it, I couldn't tell, and I certainly wasn't going to stare at her chest.  (In retrospect, probably should've)

Okay, focus Zero.

So, I get outside, and I leave my implements of improvised destruction behind.  I decide it's better to not threaten the girl with a cudgel or fire extinguisher until I know her better.  Besides, already had a neighbor see me half nekkid in the cold shouting into the night sky.  No need for the police again.

I tell her that the cables are in my car, take three steps and WHACK.

Fuck you, B.  You didn't tell me Rika was cute.  That's important info dude.  Maybe you only saw the psycho hose beast side.

I'm reeling against the staircase to the second floor, and spin around, and there's a pipe in her hands, she says something, and I scramble away, to shake the cobwebs out.

Me>> What the hell?
Her>>  I'm not letting you walk away...
Me>>  Aww fuck.
Me>>  Rika?

She takes a swing at me, I dart back against the wall, she hits the staircase, bong!  It rattles her hands, I grab at the pipe and hold on.

Rika>> No solstice for you, you stupid little
Me>>  I'm anything but little, girly.

I know, right? I fucking said that, a come-on, in the middle of a fight.  But I really meant that I was taller than her, and I'm not a small guy in stature.  I'm not even going 'there',  too many damn slash fics as it is.

I use my strength to my advantage, and wrestle it away from her.

Me>>  Okay, so now what?  Huh?  You going to scamper away or go for round two.
Rika>>  You're dead.
Me>>  Eventually, we all are.
Rika>>  I'll drag you before him, and you'll wish you were dead.
Me>>  ...

I take a moment to try to be witty

Me>>  Air and opportunity, baby.

She lunges, I defend.  She falls over, tripping on my foot, and face down.

I swing with the pipe...

and freeze.

no slendy magic
I just can't...
I can't hit her


Motherfucking Chivalry



I was raised that any man that hurts any woman is scum, and I couldn't do it.

She sees me, pauses, then runs off.

I'd be lying if I didn't look at her rump.  Purely for scientific purposes, I assure you.

ahem

Dat Ass

So, a bit later, I see Jack Skellington outside, grooving to the sound of traffic not fifteen feet away.

My second real encounter with him.

I regard him from inside the apartment, all doors nice and locked, all windows and such barricaded.  I look back

I hear him

Noodle-Kaboodle>>  Come outside

Okay...I think, Do I want to go Zeke with the response and just say 'Fuck You'?    Eventually I decide on a Rick O'Connell


I grasp my sword, unsheath it and gaze back

Me>>  I'll be seeing you again....

Monday, November 22, 2010

Ask Zero(Sage)

In the interest of moving things along, I've decided to have a Q&A thread set up.  In case any of you have any questions for me,  I'll update the page as the comments roll in.

If you have basic questions about Running, however, i direct you back to The Tutorial.


Fire away.



What are your thoughts on the upcoming Solstice?



I can't fully explain this for one sole reason, that being that there are still Agents reading the blog,  needless to say I realistically do not intend to beat him.  I've been talking with Amelia(Sage) though, and we think we can free some Hallowed under his control.

I want to survive it all, certainly, but really, one or two lives for potentially 10-30?  It's worth a risk.

If we fall, well you still have Maduin(SJS) and Shaun(Guide) to work with, so you won't be without help.

You're willing to sacrifice yourself and Amelia for a better cause? You sure about this Zero?
 
She believes the same as I, that we have to take this chance to score a victory against him however slim.   I know it really sounds like I'm putting myself up for martyrdom, I assure you that's not the case.  
Two reasons why I am willing.

I was picked as a Sage, someone to find the answers despite the risks.  At first, I was very unwilling to consider this option, if you look back, my first reaction to Greenlight was 'Oh....crap".  But I fell into it, I see how so many things are connected now.  It's a chain reaction, it always has been.  Too much time has passed before the last 'link' in the chain sparked to life.  We cannot let this situation stagnate, we must keep up momentum, since killing him....the Slender Man, is almost impossible even now, most likely even with the Solstice, we have to count our victory another way, either by injury to him, more than a temporary wound, something that may maim him for life,  the other way is to save the Hallowed, if but a few of them.  Amelia has more thoughts on this than I do, it's all metaphysical of course, but I don't have the spirit to grasp that part, I think.

Second reason, as a Sage, I am probably certifiably insane.  No need to remind me about it.  I believe one Harlene Quinzel said that 'There are two times in which a person shows flagarant disregard for the rules of life, society, and personal health.  One is when they are insane, one is when they are in love."   Now I do not know a third of you people really, but....yeah.  I've taken a great interest in humanity these last few weeks, warts and all, we can be a good wholesome people at times, least I can do for you all is my role.

Okay, so there's a third reason.  I'm really not too certain how much longer I'll be whole, certainly the signs have been shown that I've had problems recently,  and I made my promise that I won't give in.  so yeah.
 
 
... Zero, do you have any family? 
I do, a small one.  I'm the younger of two.  My brother lives in Michigan doing humanitarian research.  My father is retired after leaving on bad terms with the state, that I don't need to go into.  My mother works at a hardware chain as a manager.

All in all, I've been extremely fortunate to have had their love and support.  And while I haven't seen eye to eye with my brother for years, we've reconciled since. 




Hey zero, I don't get people like Reach. Why would anyone side with gaunt?

Well, that's a hard question to answer. I don't really know it either, but his powers of persuasion are very intense, in essence he can force you to feel a certain amount of empathy to him.  Remember the classic line

"We didn't want to go, we didn't want to kill them, but its persistent silence and outstretched arms horrified and comforted us at the same time..."

Then there's all the sick freaks like Conaghan who want to see the world burn.  
.
Do think the other one will also make an appearance during the solstice? If it does what effect do you think it would have on the outcome of the aftermath? 

Depends on if you mean the myserious //it//, the Rake or Greenlight   Ideally, it'd be an evil fights evil sort of thing, but if they're in concert, well....when you expect death from a fool's errand, it can hardly get worse if there are two of them, eh?


What can you do to keep TDF out of your house? Do you think stuff like protective symbols work?

Personally, I believe all the symbols are simply personal focus tools to reinforce your will against his.  We know he can get in your house if he really wants to, even with the symbols up.  What I really think the symbols do for us is it lets us tap into that sense of protection we need to actually keep him at bay, just tapping into that psychic part of our minds.  Most likely, it works because we think it works, however it's not fully capable, because others think it calls him, so it's considered shaky but worthwhile in the long run.



*note*  I can't figure out why the format keeps shifting or why it's bold...

Must be the Full Moon

What the hell is wrong with everyone?

Flame wars:The World Burns is being featured on my blog, and over at Scared/H(a)unted.

if this is some publicity stunt to advertise a story, I'll be pissed

seriously

i'm about to shut this damn page down for good.   This is SUPPOSED TO FUCKING BRING US TOGETHER GOD DAMMIT.  WE'RE FIGHTING SUPERNATURAL EVIL, AND WE'RE ALL FUCKING BITCHING AT EACH OTHER LIKE WE'RE IN GOD DAMN HIGH SCHOOL.

Calm it down, or take it outside.

THE END.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

The Solstice Looms/Clarion Call

edit: Whole theory is corrupted, still planning on attempting the Solstice event on the grounds of that my life is a fucking joke, and I'd rather die testing him for vulnerabilities on lunar events than to live another month, wallowing in my own despair.

The Solstice comes soon, it will be a powerful night.  Who will stand with me and fight the Slender Man on that night?  I won't wait for him any longer.

It's been said before

Omega inspired me to announce my plan, seeing his picture of an epic confrontation.  Us, as many of us who blog, to band together, and rise as one, slay the monster.

Marble Hornets hasn't responded to my thoughts.  Why should they?  I'm noone to them.  It's alright, I'll fight him alone if I must, but I won't stand down against him, won't stand on the sidelines.

If you really...really...are willing to fight.  Maybe we can do some damage.

I'm real tired,  just dreaming of a future where we can end our tale happily.

I mean, what will we accomplish at best?  Can we kill him?  Others will still tell his tale, either in jest or sincerity.  Youtube documentation won't cease because I tell you I put a sword into him.  You wouldn't believe me, would you?  I wouldn't believe it either I think.  We see him as invincible.

but we can lessen him.  maybe we'll never kill him per se.  but maybe we can reduce him to a shadow of himself, less powerful, less scary.

Zeke started it

Robert showed us

edit: Robert's a fucking joke, twice as insane as I could ever be.  I wish him well in his new life, may he live a life happy and full of personal joy.       fucking crying again. 

we're taking him down pegs at a time. and we have another chance coming up

guardians, sages, heroes, warriors.  titles have strength, but must we fail without a hero?

Cannot a sage or a guardian do some damage alone?

duel the monster with a katana, iaijutsu style.   oh if I had the skill.

really tired tonight, it's not me going crazy, don't worry my friends.

but I did decide, yeah...i'm going to do some work soon, be prepared, okay?

I I think he'll be vulnerable that night for a reason.  Greenlight mentioned it,  halloween and the Solstice

he'll be vulnerable because he'll be *here*

you know, more physically here than ever before.  That means two things guys.

First, he won't need to break us down mentally to attack us, to kill us.  He's like Freddy you see.  Has to work us down for the most part.  Granted this is not always the case, but it's really hard to know his target's sanity beforehand.

Secondly, this means he'll be vulnerable to us.  Maybe he'll still shrug off bullets, or my sword, but he'll be able to suffer this damage a lot more than ever before, without having to have ectoplasm to fight him back.

it is an opportunity that's rare to get.

who wants to kill a slender man?  Tickets going on sale.

don't say you will do this, if you don't mean it.

good night all, just barking in the dark again.  Nothing bad.

you're my heroes, you know.

probably telling you things that we don't need to discuss, but

total disclosure, my first of two promises

never give in, never get taken, my second promise

tomorrow starts a new quest, and maybe a stun gun too...electricity.

ectoplasm conducts it

it'll help zap agents too, less lethal, better in general.  maybe we'll save some of them

somehow

goodnight all. sweet dreams

i'll think of you, you don't need to think of me though,  less you think of me and him, the better you are

never bow, never break, never give, always take,
you monster, you tool, i'm your sage, you're my fool
you spread your lies, spread your madness, clean your mess, rid your sadness
i'll not bow to you
you're just another fake
death comes, so true
never another soul to take

I can't let you win, you won't let me be
sages and monsters, finally my destiny, clear, before me

but where will we go next
who rises to be our knight
don't you all see
the hero is right
before you
it is





you



it's always been you
every last one of you
we are our own heroes, guys
face that fact

we always have had the power to fight for ourselves, haven't we?

its funny to think of it like that

we sort of kill ourselves a little if we kill him, he's us you know, our worst side.

can you kill your hate,  certainly cant love it

1 am, 36 hours without sleep, so tired now, i'll see you all later

good night, take care my family.  i'll keep you safe, I promise

forever, i promise, i'm always here, even when you don't see me

my third promise now.

i'll fight him for you, may not win, but i won't let him get to you anymore

well, as many as i can save.  maybe everyone someday

so grand to consider



good night