Confused

edit: and here's where I started a journey into madness, pay attention people.  It gets worse before it gets better,  look at those fucking titles I'm already using, fucking embarassing.

Okay, so I've been thinking about /construct/ and my role in all this, and I'm starting to wonder what I am supposed to do with it all.  I think I've given out some ideas so far as to what it takes to confront evil, but I find myself afraid as well at times.  Last night, I thought I felt a hand across my face, which caused me to jolt awake.  I live alone, both my hands are generally under my head...What the hell am I hallucinating?  I keep looking to the side of the road, thinking I'll see him, and then I'll know that it's begun.  I know I've got a very active imagination, I mean I've role played for nearly 20 years now, but this...it's like I'm haunting myself.

Pfft, I knew the risk when I decided to delve into the myth, to extend myself towards those in needs.  I just want to make a difference for one of them, whether it's B in "What Now?" or Robert(Sane) in White Elephants, whom I have grown worried over.

I know I have an answer for someone somewhere, but when and to whom?  Must I seek out other blogs as well to help spread the words, or am I just self indulgent, arrogant enough to believe that the human collective has strength beyond creatures, nightmares?

I see I have a follower now, which is nice to know.  I can only hope that he has faith in me, rather than wanting to watch me burn...

where am I?  I'm so lost today, and tomorrow, it'll feel totally different.  Who needs a mental labrynith by the /construct/, when I am lost inside myself?