Dismay

Alright, I admit that I thought my concept to kill our unfriendly neighborhood construct would've taken off a bit more than it did, but I see now that such things can easily be viewed as absurd or untrue.  There's a set series of beliefs we have about construct, and can easily identify things outside of the norm as untruth.  H(a)unting, Scared, and whatever blog that has 'Breaker' in it have those concepts.

Firstly that he communicates, and is nice about it, or that there's two personas about.  While many have speculated that there are multiple constructs, it's widely believed that none of them are 'nice'.  Belief shapes life, so this is untrue.  The "Breaker" story is widely considered a mary sue fairy tale of what how to beat him.  Death of the construct is seen as untrue, thus the story comes off as childish. 

Though I did realize that my attempt to garner widespread belief of 'killing' the construct was just as childish.  Power exists, certainly, but I'm speaking to the dark about how to destroy it.  I am starting to think that no one wants it dead really.  Oh sure we say we want to kill it, but we have such rigid definitions of what it is, what we believe it can do that we won't allow ourselves to say something like, 'Hey, I just threw a banana at him, and it put a hole through him, so get out your fresh fruit and throw it at him."  That's just considered absurd, because we've already proven he's practically invulnerable.

I can't change public belief of him, at least not alone.  I doubt anyone else will either, perhaps we consider him.....fun?  I dunno, maybe that's just me being bitter and irritated at life again.

On a personal note; and this is all true by the way, not some fodder to set myself up in a fictionalized story as a victim, I noticed the chain on my front door was partially out, as if someone tried to force the door open but failed.  The odd thing is, that either they must've circumvented the lock itself to do so, or I forgot to lock the door, but I chained it.  That's a bit scary, I have quite the fear of home invasion ><

I'll try to get it fixed via maintenance asap.  ugh,  now I have to shake off this paranoia before bed else I'll freak out all night.   Typically I just exhale a few times, and envision a protective aura, growing about me, in my room, that expands out to cover my home, forcing out all dark presences.  I can feel it, like, between my shoulderblades as I exhale, sort of a 'venting' feeling. 

Granted, I could just be pretending I'm special as I've lambasted so many before me, but maybe, just maybe there's some truth to it, you know.  I've started to realize that I'm a bit...bipolar, if you haven't noticed by now.  I'm crass and judgmental, and bitter as all hell, but sometimes, I'm just full of positivity and faith in the ability to overcome. 

Heh

Just like a coin.  It all comes back to luck, doesn't it?

O.o

edit: This happened, I still have the pillowcase, didn't get all the blood out.  Maybe a nosebleed? 

I decided to give in, and write a story with how I view this all to end, and it to be annihilated, because this morning, I woke up and the pillow next to me had blood on it.   I think I just had a nose bleed, but it sort of looks like...like a throat slash or something, given where the pillow was compared to me.

Well all I have to say to that is, show your damn self, and I'll give you a present or two.  Until I see you, you're nothing.

Defictionalization

It came from another place, it was a predator, a devourer of sapient life.  Its world was dark and ever-changing, its work was cryptic and dangerous.  It found its way from one world to another.  How, one could only speculate, whether it be a returning to a place inhabited long ago, or the mass awakening of a collective beckoned it.  It appeared, and adapted to the world around it to stalk and feed.

Humans, it found, were susceptible to its wiles and charms, most were lured by empathy, others were consumed only after slowly peeling away their sanity a layer at a time, and those few that held strong were chased out into the night with fire, then stalked.

It had entered a city park one night, intent on another meal, when light came down upon it.  Search lights, beacons, and...people.  Some of them held marks that were thought to ward him, others made circles of salt or wrought iron shavings, working together to ensnare it before it could comprehend the trap.

Noone spoke, noone needed to, for the world rejected him now, its survivors forsworn to eliminate him.  Emotions rolled into the foul creature,  the anger of a policeman driven to destroy, the cold intellect of those wishing to analyze for weakness, the cry of vengeance for those lost, and the steadfastness of those who were doggedly pursued for months.  Its power slipped as it stood paralyzed, incomprehension filling it, when suddenly it was gone, shattered into the ether. 

Unmade by those who had wrought it.

Bulletproof-Death of the Villain

I've noticed lately that my self-esteem and luck seem to have been flipping like a coin every day and night.  By day I've been feeling good, and at night I have been plagued by insecurities that all men face in the dark, when they stare at the second most terrifying thing they know, themselves.

I think we all know who occupies the top slot.

So let's get onto the topic at hand, about him.

On a personal level, no visits, no pictures,  I've taken a few with my camera phone about my home and work, just in case,  it's all good.

I've been starting on Omega's Encyclopedia Slendira, skimming it really for now, I simply haven't the time so far to do an archive binge.  He's got a comment on there from Jack Tyler, who writes Scared.  Now...I haven't read Scared, I cannot claim to be able to invest myself in his shoes, but this gets me....

"Stephanie is asleep right now..... She had an all nighter, and most of today. I had at least 4 hours. Regardless, I am going somewhere. The woods. I will be back in a couple of hours hopefully."

 Let me repeat that sentence

"Stephanie is asleep right now..... She had an all nighter, and most of today. I had at least 4 hours. Regardless, I am going somewhere. The woods. I will be back in a couple of hours hopefully."

The Woods? seriously?  Haven't enough people heard that they shouldn't go into the woods, especially after having contact with /construct/?  I took the liberty of glancing over Scared's newest entry.  Apparently Jack is of the belief that there are two /constructs/.  Alright, this corroborates with Richard(Sane)'s belief that there is one for each nation.

Before I continue on with this, I must admit that this is a sound idea.  /Construct/ is in essence, the Boogeyman, and if the mass melding of social inadequacies and primal fear can create /construct/ then it stands to reason that it has happened before, things by gone back when storytelling to a small village spread news, and tales. So, I am not overly skeptical of this, it seems to fall in line with anything else I've heard.

Now, back to Scared.  I find it hard to believe that one of the two doesn't seem overly hostile, and actually communicates with writing.  It seems so...out of place.  I'm going to have to read the archive of Scared, to see if I can understand how this came to be.



All this leads me to my current point of the day.


/Construct/ was created by a gap in social conscience, I think.  We've heard people blame SA for its existence, which can sound laughable, but perhaps is more true than we thought.  Something Awful,  while I do not vist it, is well known as being a very culture-centric site.  As I understand it,  a great deal of memes are created there, that spread out into the internet culture.
   When the communication explosion occured, back when texting and facebook started, we stumbled across something magical,  the ability for instant communication gratification.  Stimulus/Response from practically anywhere in the world, at your fingertips.  Added with the mobility of cell phones, this staggered us as a culture.  People were killed responding to texts while driving, lives crumbled, and school rooms were simple texting grounds.  These things still happen, but now we're starting to step up against it.  Communciation evolved farther than our ability to understand it,  we needed to grow socially, as the whole world, to understand what we had done.
    One of the games I've played has a concept of magic that in essence says, 'the more you're taught something, the more you're defined as to what your world is, the less potential you have, because you've chosen to rigorously define what is and is not real.'  I've seen this as a sound theory, and while I am naturally skeptical of things, I believe that this could in fact be the case.  What was it Sherlock Holmes said?  "If you take away the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."
   This malaise, this cultural reawakening we discovered, threw back the curtains, and revealed to us another truth, and for a few years, we were children, open to the fantastic yet again.  This is how we got here.

So here's my proposal.  We need to kill him, here on-line together.  We all need to write a story, a paragraph at least, of how the ./constructs/ die, and leave us rid of them forever.  We need to tap into that morass, and spread the word, get it on Something Awful, maybe make it a contest or something, where everyone submits a story, and kill this asshole in our minds and spirits.  Do it,  Kill the Slender Man!

Confused

edit: and here's where I started a journey into madness, pay attention people.  It gets worse before it gets better,  look at those fucking titles I'm already using, fucking embarassing.

Okay, so I've been thinking about /construct/ and my role in all this, and I'm starting to wonder what I am supposed to do with it all.  I think I've given out some ideas so far as to what it takes to confront evil, but I find myself afraid as well at times.  Last night, I thought I felt a hand across my face, which caused me to jolt awake.  I live alone, both my hands are generally under my head...What the hell am I hallucinating?  I keep looking to the side of the road, thinking I'll see him, and then I'll know that it's begun.  I know I've got a very active imagination, I mean I've role played for nearly 20 years now, but this...it's like I'm haunting myself.

Pfft, I knew the risk when I decided to delve into the myth, to extend myself towards those in needs.  I just want to make a difference for one of them, whether it's B in "What Now?" or Robert(Sane) in White Elephants, whom I have grown worried over.

I know I have an answer for someone somewhere, but when and to whom?  Must I seek out other blogs as well to help spread the words, or am I just self indulgent, arrogant enough to believe that the human collective has strength beyond creatures, nightmares?

I see I have a follower now, which is nice to know.  I can only hope that he has faith in me, rather than wanting to watch me burn...

where am I?  I'm so lost today, and tomorrow, it'll feel totally different.  Who needs a mental labrynith by the /construct/, when I am lost inside myself?

My Weekend

I had a fun weekend this week.  Most of the time was with my family, it was good to sit back and not jump at shadows.  One thing I haven't mentioned much lately is that I've always been a bit of a paranoid person, and this started way way before /construct/ appeared on the net.  Probably started because my mother watched a lot of murder mysteries which freaked me out, I still recall some of those supernatural thrillers, and some lame ass psycho tie-in on Murder, She Wrote.  *What an awful show*  Taking a shower still gives me the creeps.

So firstly, no, no sign of him, although I admit I've scanned the treeline on the side of the road occasionally, and I've been drawn to look at public pictures just to see.  Nothing, which is a relief so far.  My luck holds out another week, though it hasn't gotten me any winning McD Monopoly pieces.  Oh well, can't have it all, I'll choose avoidance of persecution by eldtrich enemies over winning free fries anyday.

Anyhoo, update on my personal thoughts.

B on his blog, "What Next?" has come under fire quickly...almost rapidly by /construct/!  He doesn't write very long, and writing doesn't seem to be his strong suit, I suspect he's still not at terms of his life now on the run, and hasn't the experience to handle it.  B, if you read this, remember that the blog serves two purposes, as a stress release and a warning, try to let that guide you.

Robert Sage(Sane) on White Elephants seems to have settled back down, as one of the last Sages left.  I haven't read too much of the other Sages work, though I heard about  Anomalous Data's Sage Jay(Unfortunate)
Part of me wonders if maybe my diatribe on Robert(Sane)'s account helped bring him back down...If so that'd mean that my entire blog reason has had an impact, but I can't be so...impertenant to think that a single comment of assistance can save a man's sanity.

I don't recall any other startling news since my last post, but I do find Omega's work interesting at the Encyclopeida Slenderia.  I have yet to read it but I admit I find Omega a kindred spirit if for no other reason as that we both seem to be seekers of knowledge, and that Omega and Zero are sort of similar concepts.


My thought for the day

Who is A?  And what is A's goal?  Did A actually fight /construct/ in A Lack of Lexicon, or was that someone else?

Luck

So Maduin made a remark about what I'm getting into, and it's a valid, and just concern!  I could just walk away from everything, and nothing in my life'd change.  It's safe, secure for me.  It's been that way for all my life really.  I suppose I've never been in a crisis in my entire life.  I've never broken a bone, never had a car accident, nor other misfortune, save one..  This isn't boasting, this is a simple truth about myself. 

So I believe in Luck.  Yeah, it's hard to define sometime, but it's so apparent in my history that I simply have to acknowledge that Luck or Karma, whatever it may be, has looked out for me so far!

Here's my favorite example, and for any skeptics out there, this is the total truth, no hyperbole.  I'll refrain from certain proper nouns just to keep myself somewhat anonymous.

While my mom was pregnant with me, my father worked at a state park, and we lived outside of town.  This was in the late 70's, out in the rural midwest.  At this point in time there was a murderer named D****** that was on the loose, after killing 4 people, with a couple of cronies.  Things were rather intense in the area, my father actually carried a pistol for one of the few times in his life.  One night, in Feburary, I believe, a car stopped out by the driveway of my parent's house, then after about five minutes, sped off.   A day or two later, as the snow started to melt, some firearms were found that were ditched there in the burgeoning snow.  Yep, that was his work, they found a thumbprint on one, got him brought up on charges all properlike.

Here's the interesting part.  He was about to take out another household when he heard on the news, while in the car that one of his victims survived, which caused him to panic, and dispose of the firearms...

So yeah, if that report hadn't of been on right then, that probably would've been very very poor for my family.

Now I intend to counterbalance my luck a bit, since I'm a firm believer in not pressing your luck too much.  I've got very little luck with women, hell I haven't had a date in years.  I know mostly it's due to me being socially awkward, and yet I find the women's company I enjoy most are ones that would date me, yet they disappear from my life.  Not like disappear as in /construct/ abducted, but simply, moved away, or changed jobs before I got phone numbers.  I just recently rediscovered two of them online, and am happy to see they're both married and in good health.  So, unlucky in love, as it were.  but horrible, all things considered.

Last thing I'd like to bring up is an earlier comment I wish to clarify,  talent...or potential. 

Have you ever felt like you were tuned in to something? Like as if you had psychic powers?  Generally I consider such thought, the self-deluded dreaming of a person who wishes they were special  (Answer: They are special, just don't realize it) 

I've got friends who claim they know magic, others who claim they're psychic.  We all like to consider ourselves unique, something to separate us from the rest, it's a way to anchor ourselves from drowning in the sea of masses.  Well, I've had a few psychic moments myself, although I tend to dismiss them as my own cravings for uniquity.  And I started to think, that maybe we all have a little something we tend not to notice in our lives.  Do you have a talent for controlling things just a hair?  Or can wake up right when the alarm is about to go off?  Are these things just habits or is there more to it?

Why is it that when I roll dice, I can feel the dice differently, and I can recognize by that sense alone, when someone else has held certain dice?  I can roll someone's dice and fail miserably at anything, then hold it, concentrate upon the object, then start rolling much, if not perfect, better rolls.   Is that simply luck, or can I control it?

Who is to say about anything like this?  And what does this have to do with our enemy?  Perhaps nothing, but perhaps everything!  If we can harness the same potential that creates nightmares, perhaps we can eliminate them.

Got any talents?  Let me know in the comments section.

Introduction

Alright, let's start this turkey shoot with the basics.

Name's Zerombr, but I go by Zero, was a fan of the megaman character years ago, name stuck with me, and frankly is an apt name for my half-assed life. Heh...

Interests:  Borderlands, Lord of the Rings, certain MMOs, hopefully DC Universe Online, board games like Risk, and role playing.

Lately I've taken an interest in reading up on the web famous /Construct/, or slender man on the blogs on this site, which drove me to write a small blog entry of my own.

So let's clear the air with my views about the whole thing.

/Construct/ - Everything has the same chance of being real, I mean it's no secret that we as a race have a great deal of potential, that we can create much when we focus on it,  sadly this...abbheration is an idealized focal point for all the self-loathing, and fear we all possess.
  Let's not deny it people, we as a race are scared of the unknown, and scared we're not measuring up to par.  Half of us worry that we're not smart enough, the other half think we're not attractive enough.  All the time, we wonder if we're doing 'right', as we anticipate being silently judged.  We are a fearful people, it's only natural.
  It's my belief that we've evolved much much less than we think we have.  Right now, our technology has advanced leaps and bounds over our ability to comprehend it, which leads us into a societal uproar.  People focus on social sites, chat for hours in meaningless 'lol' chats, and get into fights over not being 'friended'.  We haven't adapted to how instant communication is nowadays, and thus we've become entrenched in immediate gratification, seeking followers on Twitter so you can be praised for taking a photo of your lunch or whatever.
  Is it no surprise that our fearful potential and our inability to comprehend how fast our lives move now,(Beyond the scope of evolution), that such a monster could be created/awoken?

Now, I have not seen /construct/, nor do I wish to.  I do not have a notebook of scribbles, nor do I have a nasty cough.  I am only touched by this creature by the blogs I read, which isn't to say that i don't possess fear.  Hell, I'm afraid of a lot of things, change, being abandoned, and home intrusion.
  The last was brought upon me when my house was robbed two years ago, stealing my XBox.  Granted that's not a huge issue in the scheme of things, but for someone who has been as cloistered as myself, it was a big deal.  I should note that I have a rather large cabinet covering the patio door that was used, with the sofa against it.  If anyone tries to get in past that, I'll know about it, and have my personal theft deterrent system (baseball bat) readied.

I grew up out of the city, at a state park near the woods. (no sightings there, nothing but peace and quiet)  I was quite afraid of death at an early age, but as a concept not as a person.  I currently work as an office drone in a decent city, making fair money and live comfortably enough.

I've opened this blog just to lend a port in the storm to those who've had their...encounters with /construct/, in hopes that together, instead of going mad alone, we can suffer the storm, and come out strong...


I just read that and realized how pretentious I sound!  I'm not that bad really, I just think that  maybe I have some a perspective that may assist in this task at hand.  killing it.

Take care, friends.