Tuesday, December 14, 2010


Well folks, I have something I need to tell you about while I'm all nice and lucid, only quite tired.  Two things actually.

First off, I've already written my last post, in a little binder, with instructions on it how to log into my account.  I have asked that this be posted on Solstice Day, in case I lose my wits before then.  What this also says is, unfortunately, you will not know if I am really still around before my fight.  You will have to trust me, as you have in the past.  I felt I needed to mention this to you guys, since you've stuck with me for so long.  Thank you for all your well wishing and comments, I really really have appreciated everything.  Even the trolls.

Sort of funny that a guy who started out posting about being lost in life has turned around in just a few months...

Okay, now for something I really didn't want to talk about, but I felt you guys needed to know.


I should tell you what happened with her.  You see, she showed up at my door that day, looking like hell itself warmed over.  Another cute girl in distress.  Another mistake.  I guardedly told her to show her hands, and to lay down on the floor face down, if she really wished to talk.  My stun gun was at the ready, hidden from her sight.  She complied, making no motions to attack me or incapacitate me.  Granted, it was a stupid trusting move on my part, but I've failed her before, and that got to me.

We talked for a bit.  I could see how...hopeless she had become.  Distraught, gloom.  If she were wearing black, I'd have called her an emo.

Stupid defense mechanism.

She asked me for help.  I had none to give her.  She screamed at me, and stood, begging me for a cure to a poison I had no hope of holding.  When I held out my hands to show that I had no cure, she called me a coward.  And then

she asked for death.

I'm not a killer, despite what I may have done in desperation, or insanity, I always felt that I was meant to be a healer.  One with issues, but still, my overall goal is to help people.  I refused to hurt her.  She produced a firearm, and yelled at me again.  Now, I'm no psychologist, but I knew that one of us was going to be shot within moments, if I didn't do something stupid.  So I agreed.

I took the firearm, whispered an apology to her, tears coming down my cheeks.  She sunk down onto her knees, as I leveled the weapon at her, my hand shaking.  She didn't even have a chance to see me taze her.

I couldn't take her life.  Not after she came to me for help.  So I made a call.  You see, there's someone I've been talking to who has a certain interest in agents, or hallowed.  He came to town to talk to me, to convince me to change my goals.  He has a way out.

So I called him, and he showed.  Nessa started to stir, so I took her out of the equation again.  The battery on the stun gun was mostly depleted, by this point as the thin man with the ruddy red hoodie appeared at my door.  He was unkempt, his teeth browned and somewhat rotted, his clothes ratty, his hood pulled low over his eyes, and had a snide look on his face as I let him enter.  I knew he wasn't the sort to jump me.  He has different goals.

Me>>>  Well....I never thought I'd meet you.
Stranger>>>  Who says you haven't before?  So you've changed your mind?
Me>>> No, no I'm going through with it.
Stranger>>> It's all madness.  You're just as much a fool as I was once.
Me>>>  Perhaps.  But I think I know a few things.
Stranger>>>  They're all lies.  Every last one.  But did you call me here to play at intrigue, or did you have a purpose?
Me>>>  I've had a purpose for three months now.  I daresay you lost yours about that time.
Stranger>>>  Ohhh...
He stepped through my abode, looking around.
Stranger>>>  Don't try to guess at me.
Me>>>  It keeps me busy.
Me>>> Anyway....I have someone for you.  For you to take.
Stranger>>>  You think I'm a delivery expert?
Me>>>  I think you'll want to see her....It's Nessa...you have an interest in her, don't you?
His eyes light up, a hideous twinkle.
Stranger>>> Well, this is unexpected.  Yes, I can take her.
Me>>>   I can't believe I'm doing this, handing her off to you.  I mean...there's nothing to prove that you won't just kill her or abuse her.
The Stranger lifted his hand, dirt on his palm.
Stranger>>> I'm not interested in hurting her, or even you.  So you can stop handling that weapon so aggressively.  I simply want this to end.
Me>>>  Strange occurances make strange bedfellows.  I guess I have to trust you on that.  You'll give her a good life?
Stranger>>>  The life she leads is up to her,
Me>>>  Well...as good a chance as anyone, then.

I showed him to where I had her restrained, unconscious.  As an agnostic, I whispered a bitter prayer for her hope and life, as the man picked her up.

Me>>> Can you really do it?
He paused.
Me>>> Can you really make people forget?
The Stranger chuckled softly.
Stranger>>>  I've done this a few times.
He tapped the side of his head.
Stranger>>>  It's a better life for them, to have them forget.
Me>>>  I see....goodbye then.  I hope not to see you again.
Stranger>>>  Ohh...don't hurt my feelings now.  I'm sure I'll see you again soon.

And that's the story.

I gave Nessa to Redlight. and I had no choice.


  1. I...I really don't know how to feel about all this, zero.

    First of all, I've got a confession. I never really cared for your blog. I dunno why. I just never really understood what was so popular about it, or what it brought to the table that other blogs didn't. I had no clue why Robert would have chosen you as a sage. It's not that I didn't like you, but in all honesty, I just didn't have a particularly strong respect for you.

    This, though...look, I'm so sorry. I came into this Core Theory group a bit late, and I never really knew Nessa. I started reading her blog, but never finished (although I do plan on getting around to it yet). But I have been reading around some. Nessa's name comes up so frequently. I never knew her, but I can easily see how important she is...was...had been to all of you. With that in mind, I think I can understand just how hard this all must have been for you.

    I'm sorry, zero. I really hope that giving her to Redlight was the right choice.

  2. @SB - Well I can understand that. I got thrown into this. I haven't had much of a personal story, my story's been reactionary. I can see why you don't enjoy that. It's not a good 'read' for someone not experiencing it.

    I don't mind that you don't respect me, dude. I don't really see what the big deal is either!

    Take care.

  3. Never said I don't have any respect for you. Just that it's not particularly strong. There are some bloggers out there that I suspect way less than you.


  4. Let's hope for the best.
    I am ready for what the Solstice will bring here. surprisingly enough.

  5. @SB Well, I'm old fashioned enough to think that you either have respect or not, much like grace. But I appreciate your words. I am curious however, what you suspect of me.

    That's most intriguing.

  6. No, no, no, no, no! He wants to fight a battle against the Slenderman, a monster created by fear. And how is he going to do it? While if it isn't obvious he is going to do it like a mad man. The battle is lost the second someone doubts that the monster can't be beat. He is losing hope that this blitz works. For those that are going with him put on a brave face and believe it will work. For those that aren't pray to whatever God you believe in. Or if you don't than believe it will work. Otherwise death is assured.

  7. I am losing many things Joker, but I know for a fact how the monster can be beaten. Hope is not lost.

    Don't make me out to be something more than I am, Joker. I'm not a saint and I'm certainly not a Hero. I have a calculated plan. As I have said before, I will not kill him. I can't. That's simple. But my goal is much greater than a sword duel with a monster set to "Don't Let Me Be Understood" from Kill Bill vol.1

    That said, I appreciate your enthusiasm and assistance. You're a good spirit.

  8. @Maduin - I'm curious as to your thoughts about this post. Do you think I did a right thing?

  9. and there goes Suspended Serenity....

  10. She's...

    She's alive?

    Well. If Redlight can give her the life she deserves, then he better not fuck this one up. She's been through too much. I think tonight, before I go to sleep in some motel near here, I'm going to say a prayer, that she can carry on during the Solstice and beyond totally ignorant of any of this ever happening.

  11. Erm...respect. Not suspect. That was a typo.


  12. If there's any way that someone can be freed from the grasp of Slenderman, I believe that would be the right thing to do. You did the right thing Zero: Nessa can go back to having a (relatively) normal life and not have to worry about that tall dark f***er following her. That said, I'm sorry about your loss Zero; I can't even begin to imagine what it felt like. I came into this late, so I never had a strong relationship with any of the runners. Still, I'm sorry for your loss; I wish there was a way I could help.

    Know this; this wasn't your fault. Remember the cause of all of this trouble! If Slenderbastard had never started attacking people, none of this would have happened. Therefore, be strong and courageous; it's time to kill this bastard once and for all. If we created Slenderman, we can sure as hell kill him. As a wise philosopher would say, it's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum. And you (and we) are all out of gum.

  13. @S: And some of us don't chew gum at all.

    @Zero: It was...the right thing to do. After all she's been through...

  14. I think given the circumstance you did the right thing by Nessa. I still don't trust redlight though. From what I've found about what it is made from I think zero is right in that we can't kill it. I don't want to say anymore because I think it might endanger zero's plan.

  15. I kept my word.
    Damage was a little worse than I thought sadly.
    Should have given her to me earlier.

    Nessa will be waking up in a women's shelter.
    New wallet, new ID, no memory save for a nasty trauma due to car crash, and the recollection of a very abusive boyfriend.
    A nasty shame, but a free mind, no longer wanting to enter into a world that brings nothing but pain and anguish.
    Don't go near her Zero, your face is tied to some bad memories.
    Thought it was funny. Don't worry she's far enough away that you wont have to worry about any encounters.
    Give her a few months of therapy and she'll be right as rain.

    Now, as I said...offer is still open to any and all...
    Just say 'Please.'

    - Redlight

  16. Zero, it's okay. She's alive, and happy, and... doing her thing, enjoying her life. And that's okay.

    We still trust you, sir.

  17. This comment has been removed by the author.

  18. You did what?
    Okay, he says she's safe and normal, but who can guarantee that?

    If anything fucked up happens, it'll be your fault, so I hope, for your sake, that this Redlight guy didn't lie.

  19. @Pete - Well, considering the other option was to shoot her? I know Redlight's objective. I felt at least I could trust him to BE himself.

  20. @Robert - So long as you're good on your word with Nessa, that's enough for me. But if she has any relapses at all, come hell or high water I'll drag you screaming and kicking to hell until you do it right.

  21. Zero, I don't know whether you did the right thing or not, but know this:

    You did what you felt was right, and took the best course of action you could see.
    This can, of course, come and bite us all in the posterior later on, but you shouldn't beat yourself up about it.
    It's not your fault, not as much as you think, anyway.

  22. I have to concur with Maduin. None of us have been or will ever be in the exact same set of circumstances as you were on that night. None of us can ever definitively say whether what you did was right or wrong, none of us can ever definitively say what we would have done in your shoes.

    I still think Redlight's a bastard and that he's up to something very fishy, but either way, Nessa was damned, Zero, and you don't need to feel guilty for delivering her to the lesser of two evils.

  23. Red,i wanna thank you.you did something logical for once.now she can finally live in peace...but you better not touch her.if you touch her..i swear..

  24. http://www.wdtn.com/dpp/news/strange/eerie-image-captured-in-woods

  25. Sorry for the double post,but thanks for not killing her zero..

  26. I'm glad Nessa is alive, at least. ~Rose

  27. @Zero: ...Two possibilities what that photograph could be if it's not a fake.

    1) one of your Slendy Jr. Monsters

    2) The Rake or HABIT from EverymanHYBRID.

    Either way, friiiiiiiick that is creepy

  28. Oh, fuck you, Zero. Like I don't have enough nightmare fuel unleaded floating around in my brain. :(

  29. @Vieve - I think you're right. Hard to tell for sure. The things that bit me had bigger mouths though, still uncomfortably close. My things didn't have eyes, but that's IR or Nightvision or something so maybe it picked up something I couldn't see.

    @Fizz - Still, it's something you need to be aware of.

  30. fuck, I just called them 'My things'. That sounds so....ick.

  31. True enough, Zero, especially now that I'm on the run. Maybe I'll take some of the money I've got left and get a new handgun.

  32. Oh my god..that's the rake..do not say his name in real life! do NOT!!

  33. I really don't want to have to deal with a second abomination right now.

    I don't even know anything about him cept the name.

  34. @J: I'm going to have to be careful when talking about garden equipment from now on. Or maybe not, since I've spoken to my brother, an avid gardener, about gardening tools without Rakey showing up. I wonder if he knows when it's his name and when it's "I'm going to go out rake the garden now"

  35. I can't say much because I don't know much. But... Chin up. Take care. Get well soon. For both of you, even though she can't hear me.

  36. Who were you and what do you know about me?