Suffocation

I push my hands unto the wall to steady myself, to keep myself at ease.  My legs grow numb, and my health fades.  My stomach curls up into itself ready to devour me from the inside, lest I eat.  As I stand and ponder, gazing out over the unfortunate...the other unfortunates during this cold, bitter season, I close my eyes.

My feet are cold, numbed.  Should've bought new boots.  And as I wait for a meal to arrive, i feel my hands sink into the stone, like putty or gelatin.  I stare in marvel at the oddity as my body starts to meld into the stone.  I cannot shift my weight away, I am not being pulled.  I am simply falling. 

When my face touches the stone, it molds around me, capturing my breath.  I cannot breathe here.  My scrapes and wounds from the fights I've been in throb.  The bites on my legs.  My head aches, and face.  A knife is stabbed into my ribs, if I did not know better.  And I do not.  I am blind, unable to move, but only to feel.  My lungs burn, as I gasp for breath.  I cannot see but I know my sight dims again.  Blood...My blood is frozen.  I can feel it again.

The world fades, my vision narrows, and a rushing sound fills my ears.  I feel myself shift, my legs buckle and I move.  I do not know how.  I fall and see light, air hesitantly tests my lungs as I find myself on the floor, gazing at a ceiling.

I am asked if I need help.  I do not know the answer.  I feel a great weight upon me, still crushing me, like a mantle made of lead.

I look for the adversary, and do not see him.  I do not see his work.  I only see the unfortunates.  I should not let bad things happen to them.  I do not know if I can.